Of Greener Grass and Escapades

Friday, September 03, 2004

The grass is always greener on the other side. Always. no matther how you look at it, the perfection that is we must be grateful for what we have almost never exists. the only thing that sets the saints apart from the normal people is thier uncanny ability to control their urges to get what they want.
at first, all i wanted was a nice little mp3 player so that i could store a couple of cds worth of songs and i wouldn't need to carry all that bulky load that is a discman and my stash of cds wherever i went. fine. so i went ahead and bought myself a nice little 128mb muvo tx. yeah, its small but at least it fulfilled what i wanted, i mean like, who needs 20 gigs worth of space? geez. which lazy insane bastard would want to spend hard earned money on some super mp3 player just so he did not need to delete his songs ever? hoho. yeah i once thought that. now i've slipped myself right into the skin of that lazy insane bastard and yes, i want an ipod.
and then there are the handphones. how useful! you can actually go anywhere and still be contacted. smsing is so much fun. 10 years ago, a simple pager would have probably been my dad's dream. 5 years ago, my dad would probably have been seriously considering getting a handphone while the kids thought of owning a pager. now? little primary school kids all have handphones. and not just that, most of us kids own handphone models that are even more advanced that our parents. no i'm not accusing any one here. i am a culprit myself. and now new models are being dished out my the dozens that everyone is dying to have. just for making calls and smsing? eat shit. i wana play games and surf the internet on my phone.
and then there are the results. yes, no matter how much we may like to detach ourselves from studies we always still feel the need to do well. i remember last year around this time while my seniors were preparing for their o levels, they were all worried they wouldn't score below 10. and then when the results came out, all of them scored like 7 points. and yet, though they know they had done very well, still, they felt unaccomplished. perfection was but 1 point away. so near yet so far. don't worry guys, i'm not trying to poke fun at you guys or anything, god i wish i would be feeling just as you felt next year (meaning getting 7 but hoping for 6 HA. HA.) but it just goes to show how we always wish we could do better.
how then, would we be able to achieve an utopia with everyone feeling grateful for what they have? well, i have the perfect answer my friends. dream.

sNooZe.
8:48 PM

Monday, August 30, 2004

The Reflecting God by Marilyn Manson

Your world is an ashtray, we burn and coil like cigarettes the more you cry your ashes turn to mud.
It's the nature of the leeches, your virgin's feeling cheated, you've only spent a second of your life.
My world is unaffected, there is an exit here, I say it is and it's true.
There is a dream inside a dream, I'm wide awake the more I sleep, you'll understand when I'm dead.
I went to god just to see, and I was looking at me, saw heaven and hell where lies, when I'm god everyone...
Dies, scar, can you feel my power?
Shoot me and the world's getting smaller.
Scar, scar, can you feel my power?
One shot and the world's getting smaller.
Let's jump upon the sharp swords, cut away our smiles, without the threat of death there's no reason to live at all.
My world is unaffected, there is an exit here, I say it is and it's true.
There is a dream inside a dream, I'm wide awake the more I sleep, you'll undesrtand when I'm dead.
(bridge)
(chorus)
Shoot, shoot, shoot motherfuckers
"Each thing I show you is a piece of my death"
No salvation
No forgiveness
"This is beyong your experience"
Forgiveness...

sNooZe.
9:10 PM

Sunday, August 29, 2004

I don't noe wat's happening nowadaes man. its like i'm studying 10 times more than wat i was before the common tests and yet i feel like my standard is hardly improving. i did a whole stack of past year papers over the weekend and now i can hardly feel like i've done anything. its like last time even if i just finish 1 paper i would be like "WHOOHOO!!!". i completed about 7 over the weekend and i don't feel and sense of accomplishment at all... sian ah... carry on like tt how?! i sooooooo wana go hc....... sigh...... i jus keep thinking of how it wud be so cool to go hc n join the wushu team there..... ahhhh....... but like tt how??? oh no.... cham liao la.... must get 8 for prelims!!!! please please please....... geez..... the weird thing is even tho i've completed all my hw, i relli feel like i haven't done any of it such tt i'm worrying about how i'm gona go sch without doing my hw tmr like wat i wud normally have been be thinking abt during my slackier days. haiz this is all so weird. also on one hand i wwant the prelims to be fucking over so i can whether my studying is bearing any fruits at all and on the other hand i don't want it to come at all cos i totally got not enough time to study. walao i've been thinking so much abt wat's gona happen to me if i don't get to go hc.... so much so tt it relli fucking scares me. ah shit. and i kinda have this feeling brooding inside me tt since i wana go hc so badly, something will probably go wrong n then i won't be able to get in in the end. shit. i hate this. please..... when will it end???

sNooZe.
9:10 PM